Acting badly
I had to come to work at night yesterday, and prolly today too.
Got some adhoc paperwork to work on.
I missed playing with kids. To make things worse, when i reached home, the house was cluttered with toys, sawda's soiled with poo pant were put into the laundry basket (by umar), then sawda woke up and vomitted, the dining table were full of dirty dishes and cups, MIL hadn't had dinner yet only god knows what she was waiting for.
Everything was so exhausting.
Thus, i turned into a monster.
I yelled at the kids, hamzah kena pukul, i think the husband was mad too but he tried to ignore.
I hate it when i cannot control myself.
I left the kids the whole day, and that was the only time i got o see them, and what did i do?
Yell at them.
I feel bad.
I know i was supposed to be thankful that the husband took care of the kids when i was gone.
I am yet to thank him personally, however i hope that by buying nescafe for him last night can be considered as compensation.
I worked extra hard today, completed our part for the paperwork, praying hard that i don't have to come again tonight.
I hope others work hard as well.
The breastfeed trivia
Fatin aka kopi gave me a message on fb yesterday asking me to give some support to her cousin on breastfeed issue.
I went to her blog, and drop a few lines (a few??) and when i am done, i think, why don't i just share with other mothers out there.
So here you go.
hi qahina, this is wawa. fatin dropped a message in my fb abt your breastfeeding challenge, asking me to support you.
i am not a certified lactation consultant but i 've been bf-ing my son (3 yrs now) and my 1 1/2 yrs daughter. So i guess i can share some experiences.
breastfeeding is tiring and exhausting and sometimes i will just drain all you energy thus led to demotivation. However, i believe, a mother has to be determine to breastfeed in order to make it work. Of course support from dear husband and families will HELP a lot.
Aisyah is still small (1 months plus, am i right?), thus she doesn't really need that much milk. She might look like hungry and wanna be breastfeed all the time, but believe me, most of the time she is just using you as her source of comfort and your tits as pacifier.
:)
It's hard to establish the breastfeeding techniques but once you've got the hang of it, you'll be ok.
If possible, never keep formula in your house because once you know you have formula to topup ur breastmilk, you'll sort of teaching your mind that 'it's Ok if i don't produce extra bf' and that will finally reduce your milk production. Like people say, it is all in your mind.
:)
1 1/2 oz for every pumping session is OK. I've experienced getting only few drops and that was sure very frustrating.
try double pumping, meaning pump both breasts simultaneously. Maybe you can pump the free breast while the feeding the other one. And try pumping immediately after you have breastfeed aisyah. My point is to have your breasts emptied, so that body thinks that it will need to produce more.
The amount of time your baby is feeding doesn't indicate that you have lots of milk or otherwise. As i've written, she might be using you as her pacifier.
And no leaking or no engorgement doesn't means that you don't have enough milk. It just means that your body has adjusted the production. That's why you'll need to teach your body again so that it will produce more.
as mommylyssa said, u can combine the 1 1/2 oz milk that you pumped from previous session and store them. Just make sure that when you add the milk from different sessions, the temperature must be the same.
You dont have to store like 8 oz per liner. What i used to do was to store 2 oz or 3 oz per liner, just enough for one feeding.
Maybe try using a good breastpump would help. I am not sure which pump u are using, but investing on good ones will help you produce more. I've seen some friends who bought new pumps although they've already own one (or two). Medela swing, freestyle are some of the good ones. Btw, i just use spectra 3 because it fits me perfectly. I do have a medela harmony too. So i use them case on case basis.
:)
:)
Qahina, all in all, it is all in your mind. Eat well, eat well, eat well, don't stress yourself, and follow your instincts.
There was once when i lost all my milk supplies because my fridge door wasn't closed properly and i had to start from scratch.
There are also few friends who were almost gave up, but they managed anyway because they were determine to make it work.
Most importantly, get some support especially from those near you.
There are a lot of other breastfeed mother out there that are willingly to reach out for you anytime.
:)
I wish you good luck.
I wish all mothers good luck on giving the best to your kids.
:)
Fail to plan is plan to fail
Ada sesi brainstorming sampai malam. Dah siap2 bawa anti-migraine pills untuk bekalan masa depan.
Nite reading supplies
Aku dah clearkan buku-buku aku dari dressing table ni, ada pulak cik kiah bubuh buku dia pulak. Ini belum termasuk yang dia tengah pegang sambil tet (menyusu).
Lawan tokei nampak.
Random Updates
Truly random.
Tiba-tiba angin malas nak guna komputer datang, so bukan saja tak blog, tak fb semua pun tak.
So here comes school holiday. 7 minggu lak tu. Takde plan lagi sebab i am busy at work since budak nak periksa, and then nak proses result, and nak publish result, and then ada intake baru, and student lama nak register.
Gosh.
Another random story, Hamzah sedang dalam proses potty train since yesterday. He wetted himselft twice. Dia tak kisah pun kalau seluar dia basah. So how?
And another story, since Hamzah dipotty train, kitorang tak dapat keluar sebab kalau keluar nak kena pakaikan diaper. Pity kan?
And since we all tak dapat keluar, i spend my time overhaulin' the house.
Habis semua aku kerjakan. Living hall again jadi mangsa. Semalam siang aku kemas work room encik suami. Banyak gila kertas dan surat tak pakai. Petang pulak tukar position tv pulak kali ni. Tapi the husband ok je, so i am happy.
Then today, aku pi kemas almari-almari-almari kitorang. 3 wardrobes okeh. Pengsan.
Sebab malas sangat nak melipat baju, so aku dedicate satu almari untuk sang suami, semua t-shirt digantung. Ada 2 dozens lagi yang tak dapat gantung sebab takde hanger. Kalau ada hangers pun, takde space.
Chest cupboard kitorang dah jadi almari budak2. Itu pun tak cukup jugak.
And baju-baju aku, gantung atas-bawah pun masih tak cukup.
Semuanya tak cukup. I wonder how people yang suka beli baju cope with the space.
Esok ada meeting sampai malam. Seriously, i feel like skipping the night session. nak buat analisis PEST la apa la.
We'll see how it goes.
Tanduk sudah tumbuh nih.
:)
Kereta baru
Umar!
Ni lah kerja dia tgk youtube, mana berkenan ambil gambar pakai phone aku.
Penuh gambar dia je.
gweat!
the other day aku salah bagi ip sampai terconflict and kacau the whole network.
kali ni aku tersalah bagi server sampai hilang semua ppliction dalam tu.
gweat! what's the worst can happen next?
No Poo Revisited
I have been on No Poo since i wrote an entry about it few weeks ago. mula-mula tak de niat pun nak skip commercial shampoo, tapi entah kenapa rasa nak cuba.
The first few days, i rasa biasa je. In fact, i like the natural oil in my hair. Takde rasa icky or greasy. maybe because i have medium length hair, and it is not curly so it was easier to take care of.
I've tried washingmy hair using the homemade shampoo (soda bicarb and water). Somehow i found i out that it made my hair too dry. Maybe that's why the other no poo-er advises to use ACV as conditioner. As to date, i haven't bought Apple Cider Vinegar yet, so i cheated (guna conditioner Dove, tapi sikit je lah).
From Nov 4th till today 19th November, i have used commercial shampoo twice only. I wash my hair regularly, like once a day. I don't want my head to become smelly.
While washing, i make sure i massage my head hoping that the natural oil would be distributed evenly. And it did.
My verdict?
My hair just look like normal hair should look lah. Takdelah macam singa lapar whatsoever. It is manageable. Not heavy. Not frizzy. No tangle. And i kinda like the oily look. Tak payah pakai mousse or pakai minyak rambut pun.
Therefore i guess i will still be on No Poo after this. too bad that i cannot provide before and after pictures.
Takpelah, i'll admire myself sendiri-sendiri je.
Hahhaa.
:P
A PIcture Says A 1000 Words
And this one is a picture of Umar's teacher and his friends during yesterday's outing to Zoo Melaka. The kids look so curious and very interested with the Orang Utan. Too bad that i forgot to give the husband our camera. Or else, there'll be more pictures.
Umar told me about the Zoo outing non-stop from afternoon, till night. I think i really missed the fun.
